Being mindful is “being in the present”. This releases stress, anxiety, and anger issues and helps your child belong to the present, in an ambience of peace and happiness. The only effective teacher to a child in this case are parents, by practising mindfulness themselves and thereby showing the child its many benefits.
At every age and every stage in our lives, we are stressed. Infants get stressed when hungry, and toddlers when they fail to figure out a way. And the many stress and anxieties of “growing up tweens and teenagers” are in plenty! And this play of stress and anxieties, leading to lifestyle diseases continues as we get into our careers and grow in position. No wonder right from the cricket field to the corporate boardroom, from classrooms to parent meets, Mindfulness is one of the most trending training topics.
As stated, mindfulness is not a practice to be involved in during stressful situations, rather this should be an everyday habit, whereby children would themselves “explore new sensations, including those that are pleasant, neutral and unfamiliar.”
A few key concepts in training yourself to be mindful are meditation, forgiveness and practising the act of being grateful. As parents, we more often than not tend to get anxious or simply irritated with our child’s behaviour or attitude or some perceived wrong act. A mindful parent would acknowledge that the problem phase would pass and hence utilise the “present” more effectively in mentoring the child. It essentially allows you to let logic and the present override your emotions at the moment.
To begin with and not so hard to practise, is meditation. Even if you are too busy with work and home balance, you could still take out perhaps a ten-minute before bedtime and that should be enough to meditate. An important aspect is for your child to observe you. Because many times it is way better to teach by doing, instead of reaching by talking.
Especially so for our dear Indian mothers, we need to consciously put our roles of being a taskmaster at bay. When we are less a taskmaster, we play better the role of a mother who encourages, motivates and is a team member with your child. As it says, we must learn to deal with the negative output of a day without overthinking. I “Deal with how this affects today. Not imagining the worst helps you be more effective at dealing with today. Worrying is like paying interest on a loan you haven’t approved.” So a bad score on a Maths test today need not make you start on the worrying journey that your child will always fare miserably in Maths.
Lastly, one key aspect of being a mindful parent and raising a mindful child is clear communication and listening skills. Listen well to the causes behind your child’s negative behaviour and anxiety issues. Do not judge by just the outcome. And have a heart-to-heart chat, on all things general, and not just problem areas. You must emerge as the key sounding board for your child, his counsellor, and his friends. Do this with calm and that’s half the battle won towards raising a mindful child.
